“What’s with the broad?” Archibald Frogg asked Stiltskin after the Dragon had left with Alice.
Stiltskin dropped the cigar in the ashtray, leaned back in his chair and folded his pudgy little hands over an ample stomach. “It’s as simple as that, if you wanna be on the Dragon’s good side - and trust me, you don’t wanna be on any other side with this guy – then you better be nice to Alice.”
“Oh really?!”
“Oh really really! But don’t be too nice, if you catch my drift”, grinned Stiltskin. “The guy has a very soft spot for young girls, virgin princesses preferrably, always had.”
Frogg nodded. Well, he knew about soft spots and virgin princesses, didn’t he. Maybe the Dragon would come in handy when this was all over, and he could take care of his own problems again. For all he knew, the Dragon would certainly be of more help than any shrink, hooker or drunken witch.
Stiltskin scratched the seat of his chair. His imaginary leg caused him all kind of troubles. “And they’re getting younger the older he gets!”
“How old is he?”
“Just look at her.”
“Oh, that old!”
After a moment the frog turned around. “Well, to be honest she’s not that young anymore! For one thing she seems to have outgrown the age to run around in little white socks and piggy tails, you know.”
“I do know, but what’s a few wrinkles here and some hydroperoxide there compared to a few milleniums, I ask you!”
“Got a point there.”
“Plus, there was a rumour that he’s been hanging with Doris Day some time ago. So I imagine Alice being quite an improvement.”
“Quite”, mused the frog staring out of Stiltskin’s windows over the trailer park. He could hear Stiltskin sucking on his cigar.
“So… and she has this rabbit…??”
“Exactly. Rather convenient thing, this rabbit is”, Stiltskin rambled on. “Everytime she does a night on the town without MrYou-Know-Who she blames it on the rabbit. Says that she had to follow the thing into that kinda weird hole, and then got lost there for a while. Comes home all shagged out, and goes on and on about all the strange adventures in this hole, about weird kings and kinky queens and caterpillars who smoke dope. I know the kinda royals and caterpillars she’s talking about. And I know what they do between tokes. Talk about adventures in a hole. Oi, women!”
“And the Dragon falls for it?”
“Every time.”
“Somebody ought to talk to him…”
Stiltskin arched his eyebrows and looked at Frogg as if he were something that just blew into town.
“You like your legs medium rare or well done?”
Frogg considered the options and shrugged.
“Knew a guy once with a rabbit like that, name was Harvey, the rabbit I mean!”
“Same deal”, Stiltskin reached for his cigar.
“A rabbit habit, so to speak.”
“Right you are! Matter of fact she’s tried to kick it for ages.”
“The rabbit?”
Stiltskin ignored the pun. “Been to Betty Ford’s and all, Mr Big-and-Smoky paying for it. She saw a shrink in Manhattan for an entire year…But then again, why should she?”
Frogg was all in thoughts about Manhattan’s shrinks. “Why should she what?”
“Kick the habit!”
“Oh. Yeah, why should she. Seems to work okay for her!”
